I'm hiding from the rest of my house...

I am. It is 10:45 at night and I am supposed to be cleaning my house right now. Instead, I am sitting here at the computer which faces a corner so I can't see behind me. Truth is, I don't feel like cleaning. My house is too messy and I don't know where to start so tonight I have decided not to.

Why am I cleaning at 10:45pm on a Thursday? Because Olivia comes in ten hours. Olivia assists me with keeping the house clean. I am fortunate in that she comes for four hours twice a month- just enough to do some deeper cleaning to help me keep up since I work outside the home and there are simply not enough hours in the week for me to do it all. I won't pretend to be a great mom, wife, employee and housekeeper- I recognize when I need help...

I always tell people that I clean before she comes so she won't quit but she has been helping me on and off for over 14 years now and no matter what I do, she doesn't quit. I think she gets a kick out of me and is always interested to see what I am up to. Plus she knows my dirty secrets including all the hidden stashes of crap I need to go through and that I simply can't live without her. A few times over the years, when I have been home when she arrived, I have greeted her with a big hug and tears in my eyes as I thanked her over and over again for completing me. I have seriously said that to her along with "You make me a better mother." How many times has your employer made you feel so appreciated and loved?

So I will be leaving to work as she arrives tomorrow and I will apologize and tell her about my crazy week and let her know that my fall break is coming up and I promise to take some of my crap to GoodWill so it will be safer and cleaner in my home in two weeks. I also have a Starbucks card for her so hopefully I will be forgiven...

Okay on to the post so important that I am engaging in work advoidance...

So I suddenly felt inadequate after seeing Chalene's post with all her kids videos. So I have to do something here...Seeing that it is now 11:15 and my kids are sleeping, I can't do a video of all the kids but I had been attempting to get a video of Selina singing. It is hard to do it when she is alone as she likes to look at herself on the camera which leads to her walking towards the camera and grabbing it in all my video attempts. The other day when I was in line to pick up the kids from school, we were singing and I realized that I can video her when she is restrained (stapped into the car seat). So here we are singing an Eban House favorite "Jesus Love" Please note that I am singing with a different accent on purpose- I am attempting to sound more like they do in Ghana. Being off key just comes naturally to me...



Okay, this isn't even her best singing but she has come so far from having NO WORDS when I met her in May!

A few recent pics...
Cater at her first karate tournament with her big trophy. Kman did karate too this summer but did not pose with his trophy as they were late for a DBacks baseball game and he just wanted to go...


Kman was in a soccer tournament this weekend and his team took third in their group. It was a tough tournament and we were proud of our goalie!


My awesome coworkers threw Selina a shower and we all laughed as she almost fell in this bag getting out the toy in there!

Welcome Ryan...

Is that the sweetest picture ever???!!!
Ryan Martin entered the world on Friday weighing in at 9lbs 7 oz! Yikes!!
I am an aunt again!! I am so excited to have a second nephew and only wish that he was not across the country!
Congratulations Kristin, Gray and Tyler...We are all so happy for you!

The last of the donation money....

is spent! So here is the story...

It took over three months and a few emails but I have been able to move forward and Albert will be getting an artificial arm!

Ever since meeting Albert briefly the day after seeing the Orthopedic Center in Nsawam, I have felt that I really needed to look into getting him help. Albert is a student at the same free school that Selina was at for a short period of time before entering the adoption center. This school is run by Percy of our adoption agency (he wears many hats). I was told that Albert was very self conscious about his arm.

Prior to leaving Ghana, I was able to talk to Brother Tarcisius who runs the center and he said that he would take Albert in at the center and make him an arm if I am able to pay for it and if Albert will have support in his life to help him with his new arm.

I informed Percy of this before leaving Ghana. I also emailed him when I returned to America but did not hear back from him. About two weeks ago, I was about to give up when I decided to email his brother Edward (who was my driver while I was in Ghana). Edward took me to Nsawam when I was in Ghana and saw the center and met Brother with me. Edward emailed back immediately and agreed to take Albert to the center for evaluation the following Monday.

Last Monday Albert was to go to the center with Edward and his teacher Gifty. As things tend to be in Ghana, it wasn't easy. Brother never emailed me back when I tried to let him know that Albert was coming so I was concerned the Edward would take him and Albert would not be evaluated. On Sunday evening I found Brother's phone number and so I called Edward (actually spoke to Percy as he answered) and gave him the number. It was great to talk to Percy and to know that he is also excited about this. I was nervous all day Monday wondering if it all would work out until I got this email...

I was there this morning with Albert and Gifty Albert's teacher and were told Tarcisius has stroke so we could not see him. Since we don't have any appointment we have to join a long cue and finally Albert was seen around 5pm. Some measurements was taken and an amount of $700 before they will start working on him. As soon as the payment is made we have to go back for them to work on the plaster. if that is done he will be admitted for a for them to fix his hand. I will scan the bill and send it to you tomorrow.

They feel he will be a fine candidate for an arm and estimated the cost for the arm and for him to live at the center for a month or two to learn how to use it would be $700. Thankfully, I have enough left to cover this as well as the cost for Edward to transport him back and forth from the center at least four times to complete the process. The center is a few hours away.

Given what I was told about Albert's history, I was not sure if he would have family support to help with his new arm or that he fully would understand what is going on. I have spoken to the center and emailed back and forth with Edward and am no longer concerned. In fact, I was blessed with the following email on Tuesday...

About six family members of Albert were in my house this morning to thank me and they ask me to tell you that God Richly Bless you for what you are doing for Albert, and they are very grateful. They said the Almighty should bless you in all areas of your life. Brother Tascisius is still in Ghana and hospitalized in the room next to his office, I spoke to him on phone and said he is doing fine. Yes the family will be able to help him with his new arm. It is okay with me to take Albert to the hospital...

On Tuesday this email was the sign I needed from God to proceed with this. I spoke to Sister Elizabeth from the center on Friday and she confirmed every thing and I told her that I would be covering the cost of this with donation monies I had received. Elizabeth requested that Albert go back to the center on Monday (today) to get measured and for more evaluation. She is leaving to Holland with Brother Tarcisius who is doing much better following his stroke. He will be seen by doctors there and they will bring back some items needed in particular for Albert's arm as he will require some imported parts!

So I can't tell you how excited I am that this is working out!! This is due to all of you listed at the top of this page that donated monies for me to use to help others in Ghana. Thank you for trusting me with such generous donations! Now that all the money is spent, I will be doing another post sharing my last story of where another large portion of the money went.

Part of doing this for Albert, I was told that the arm he receives will last about five years and then he will need an adult arm that he will have the rest of his life. This adult sized arm will be more complicated and will cost considerably more (closer to $2000). I have already committed to the center that if Albert uses his arm and they feel he would benefit from the adult arm, that I will pay for it. I would hate to have people wonder what is going to happen next for him and so in five years, I hope to be having a fundraiser for Albert!!

I also sent Edward an email asking how Albert felt about this and if he understood what was happening and that he would be leaving his family to live alone in the center with all the other children that are learning how to use their new limbs (there are currently 50 children in the children's center) and he said this...

Albert knows what is going on he is very happy about it, I heard he told the classmates that very soon an arm will be fix for him and they were all happy for him.

So there you have it... I can't tell you how pleased I am that this is working out. I am so thankful for all that donated money and for Edward for helping Albert see this through. I feel this was really worked out so well as many of you that donated specifically mentioned wanting to donate to something that was tied to Selina. To be able to help another child from her school that lives in the same neighborhood that she did and that is from the same tribe is a perfect way to honor her roots. Thank you for this and I look forward to updating you in the future on Albert's progress.

The Smile Award

Heather nominated me for The Smile Award. So in nominating me for the Smile Award, Heather said the following:

Jen went to Ghana to pick up her little girl and did so much good while she was there. She uses her blog for the powers of good by spreading the word about things like breast cancer and needs in Ghana, but she also shares the joys of parenting a newly adopted toddler.

Thank you Heather- you are so kind! It is Heather though who is awesome! She is also incredibly patient as who else would talk to me on the phone for hours (did I mention that my analytical abilities and attention to detail are a relative strength for me?) answering my questions about what to expect in Ghana. I also love that when adopting her daugher M, Heather took advantage of the opportunity to travel around Ghana to get to know the country that her beautiful daughter is from and am so happy that she also has a love for Ghana and the people there.

So back to the Smile Award: The smile award is a fun little blog award. In short someone makes up something and awards a few people and then they award a few people and so on and so on and so on....kind of like chain emails!:-)

Characteristics for the Smile Award:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude.
2. Must love one another.
3. Must make mistakes.
4. Must learn from others.
5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world.
6. Must love life.
7. Must love kids.

These are the rules for The Smile Award.
1. The recipient must link back the the award’s creator
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award, as posted by Mere.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.

So. . . what fun and a great opportunity to share some of blogs that make me smile.

People I’d like to give this award to:
Kiara at Andy and Kiara http://andykiara.spaces.live.com
Kiara is incredible. She is a mom to five including children through fostering and domestic adoption, having added two or three within the last year (sometimes you lose count)! She is the reason that you have seen beads in Selina's hair as she teaches classes on caring for black hair and skin. She is a moderator in a local adoption group and she plans so many events for us and is truely inspirational. I have many new friends in the adoption community and my children will grow up with other transracial families because of what Kiara has started.

Erica at The Road Less Traveled http://thisshubinclan.blogspot.com/
or their adoption blog A Journey of Our Hearts http://journeyofourhearts.blogspot.com
I met Erica at a weekend adoption class last June and have been following her blogs ever since. I love her family and her passion for adoption. Erica is strong in her faith and that she is always encouraging others and sharing her knowledge and adoption experience with others. She is always quick to congratulate someone or encourage them on the different groups we are both on. I also happen to be in love with her new little man Silas who is simply the coolest and cutest little guy ever!

Nikki at Blogs for a Cause http://www.madebynikki.blogspot.com/ or Ends of the Earth at http://www.endsforyou.blogspot.com
I want to be as generous and philanthropic as Nikki when I grow up (oh yea, she is much younger than me)! She is a student that has a passion for helping children in the Dominican Republic. She has traveled there a few times and does amazing things and the way she connects with others is beautiful. She also designs blogs with a portion of the proceeds helping to fund her trips to the Dominican Republic as well as a worthwhile charity that she chooses to help each month. She designed my blog and I just LOVE it.. I only wish I knew then what I know now as I would have loved to have done more to help others in Africa when I was much younger as Nikki does now...

Whymommy at Toddler Planet http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com
I have read this blog for awhile. Whymommy is a survivor of Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I love what she has done to bring awareness to breast cancer and how she has helped so many by sharing her story. She has brought so many women together. Being that I am passionate about fighting breast cancer and have done the 3 Day Walk a few times, I read several blogs of women who are battling this cancer. I just so admire whymommy for being so real and for sharing the good and the bad. I don't know what it is like to have breast cancer and I don't know what my friends that have it go through but I feel that I get a closer glimpse into their experience by keeping up with whymommy. She is one amazing mommy...

Ginny at The Westerby's Are Ready For One More Crazy.. at http://westerbywhatsup.blogspot.com
Ginny and her husband Ben have three children and are in the process of adopting a sweet little girl from Ghana. I am really enjoying following her story. Okay, so this is the smile award and Ginny has said something that I think is so incredibly cleaver that no matter how many times I hear it, I smile.... here it is...

Ben frequently describes life with three young kids as 'crazy'. On one particularly chaotic day during the time we were thinking about adopting, Ben turns to me and says, "Do you see this? This is crazy...how much more crazy can we handle?" To which I replied, "Just one more crazy."

This was so fun... I hope you get a chance to check out these blogs that make me smile...

PS- Come back soon for an Albert update... I am working on it now and am so excited!

The death of the consumer reporter...

This post is for all my friends that have known me over the years as a sort of consumer reporter if you will...

If you were having a baby after me, there is not much you needed to do as I researched EVERYTHING! Strollers, monitors, doctors, hospitals, breastpumps, bottles- I only got the best for me and my wee one. My friends would call me all the time and ask what I knew about something and I would share my knowledge. I really was especially particular about car seats. I did the most research on them and once I selected one, I took it to the fire station to have it securely fastened into my car by a firefighter.

I enjoyed learning about every thing and enjoyed sharing what I learned. One time, I kid you not, I got an email from someone I did not even know. It said this... "I was told to ask you what car seat to buy. Let me know what you think..." So I emailed back several questions and once this gal answered, I sent my response- of course letting her know that some car seats can be good but not good for your vehicle so it is always important to have a fitting by the local fire department to ensure that the seat is appropriate for the vehicle...

So now that my newer friends have background let me tell you what happened when Selina, child number three came home...

Me- We have to go to Babies R Us and get a new carseat. Selina is light for her age so I need chair with a five point harness that is more like a booster seat.

TR- Okay

So off we go to Babies R Us..

TR- What one are we looking at? (Expecting me to whip out my notes on car seats like I used to do)

Me- The one with the best cup holder.

TR- WHAT???

Me- The one with the best cup holder. I am sure they are all great these days. The problem is that with car seats with a five point, they often have "strap on" cup holders. We don't want any of that crap. Selina needs a built in cup holder. It's hot, she's thirsty. Were picking the one with the most comfy seat and definitely the one with the best cup holder.

TR- We are selecting the car seat based on the cup holder??

Me- Damn right we are...

I seriously rock... Look at that cup holder- I have 13 cup holders in my 7 passenger van (14 now with Selina's) and hers is the best- by far!



Look at that smile- she loves her cup holder!



Off to the baby monitors....

Me- We need a baby monitor too.

TR- Which ones are we looking at?

Me- I have no idea.

TR- WHAT? You have no idea about any of these? What are we supposed to do?

Me- I don't know, do what most Americans do and just pick one. Look for a brand we like or one that looks like it can be thrown across the room and still keep working. Are any of them waterproof?

TR- (annoyed) I can't believe we are just going to pick one.

Me- Yep. Let's get one that is a little smaller. I want to be able to pull it back out when the kids are teens and hide it in their rooms to listen in on their conversations.

TR- You aren't going to do that?

Me- We'll see, I am definitely keeping my options open. On that note, grab one with a thicker cord so it won't get sucked up in the vacuum and break like the last one did.

TR- You're unbelievable.

So there you have it. The third child did me in. Love the car seat! The monitor- not so much. Too much interference. In the chaos of my life at the time, I lost the receipt right away so I am stuck with it. Oh well.

I am a resourceful woman though and have come up with a plan. I am going to seek out a younger version of me to become friends with so I can call her from Babies R Us or whatever store I am at next time and get her advice.

So calling newer, fresher moms out there... if you are the consumer reporter that I used to be... send me your number!! :-)

Albert...

His name is Albert. While in Ghana, I came across this fabulous center that helps those with missing limbs. You can read about it here. The following day, I met Albert. Ever since, I have been trying to get him help. I have made some progress. I am not yet ready to share, but please keep him in your prayers...

Selina has a brother too!...

I just noticed that my last few posts only showed Selina and Cater. In case you were wondering where Kman is and how it is going with him and Selina...


The kids are all doing very well, don't get me wrong, we have our moments but it has been so sweet the way the kids have become so attached to Selina.

With Selina and Kman, their big bond is "balls". Kman loves to throw, catch, kick, roll balls (often in the house without the accuracy of a pro). Selina loves balls too and so they can often be seen playing ball when it is just the two of them home.

We do many things together as a family but it is also important to us to separate the kids so that they each get some time alone with one of us or with just one of their sibs. Cater was especially needy of extra attention when I got home as she really had a hard time with me being gone for a month so to do this has really helped make the transition easier. Sometimes it was as simple as running errand or other times it was more exciting things like baseball games!

A few weeks ago, I took Kman and Selina to a Dbacks game. It was a really good time. Kman was so concerned about Selina and if she was happy, eating enough, enjoying the game, etc. We had nice seats and so in the 500 pictures of the players that he took, he caught this one of Selina...



After the game, the kids were allowed to run the bases. You had to be at least three years old so Kman did it alone the first time. I noticed some kids smaller than Selina going so I asked Kman if he wanted to take his sister around. He was so excited! We went back over and off they went!!!






I got teary eyed at the end as I snapped this last picture of Selina and her new brother at a baseball game on the field. She has come so far the last few months and is doing so well, I can't wait to see what her future holds!!