Welcome to Hardthaven Children's Home

Over the next few weeks, I will share some of the stories and memories of my month in Ghana. Many of you gave very generous donations so that I could use those monies to help some of the children in Ghana.

Prior to going to Ghana, I found out about Hardthaven Children's Home. This children's home was established about a year ago. It was the idea of Joy Hardt and Edem Adjordor. They received a grant from the MTV Staying Alive Foundation and are continuing to grow and help the children though donations and assistance from volunteers. Here is a video giving you a little info about Hardthaven.


A volunteer made a video tour of the home that I wanted to share with you instead of showing you a bunch of pictures. The video is about six minutes but gives you a good feel for the home and you can see and hear some of the children...


I contacted Edem prior to going to Ghana to let him know that I wanted to come and meet the children in his home and to make a donation. He was very grateful and enthusiastic in his emails. He was in Accra the day after I arrived in Ghana and he went out of his way come to the guesthouse that Molly and I were at to meet with us. In this meeting, he was so excited to share the story of Hardthaven and how he came to help those orphaned by AIDS.

I found him to be inspiring. Here he is- a young man with a passion for helping children affected by AIDS. You can tell by meeting him that he is a man who when he needs something, figures out how to make it happen and does just that. So many of us have ideas on what we would do to help others but how many actually go out and make those dreams a reality no matter how difficult that may be?

Here is Edem, me and Percy...


Percy and I headed out to Hardthaven on a Saturday at 6am. We were to head north into the Volta Region to go to Kpando. He figured our drive would be about four hours. If you remember from an earlier post, after several experiences with bad cars, I insisted that a car be rented and gave money ahead of time and plenty of notice to make it happen. I requested a monster truck in a half joking manner. Instead Percy showed up in his own car which is fine in the city but has trouble on bush roads (bush roads are the roads that are unpaved and a nightmare on the suspension- but if navigated in a good car, can save the occupants much time compared to the trafficy main roads). I now know that no matter how hard I tried, I was not meant to travel anywhere in a car that screamed, "Don't worry, I am going to make it there!"LOL

I am certain that the spirit of my grandmother and her brother Father Fran (my great uncle who was a priest in Ghana for over 53 years) were with me on this morning though. Our drive was wonderful! Except for a stretch with potholes, the drive was on almost pleasant, paved roads, the weather was fabulously overcast and the scenery was beautiful. Percy's car, a Mercedez from the 70's or so, made it there like a champ!

On the first part of the drive into Tema (which is home to the last church Father Fran was at) you drive along side the ocean. I drove on this road several times and always enjoyed it...


About an hour or two into the drive you are able to see Lake Volta. It is beautiful as is the surrounding lush vegetation and mountains.


This part of the drive (minus the big pot hole and random people on the side of the road that insisted on sharing the road despite the lack of room) reminded me of a road that TR and I drove down in Kauai (Hawaii).


Finally in Kpando..


In talking to Edem, he requested I donate some rice and cooking oil and if possible that I give a monetary donation to help out with some of their needs. While I usually prefer to give items compared to monies, I felt that because this home helps those with HIV, they deal with unexpected medical costs and that a monetary donation in addition to donating some other items would be best. I brought soccer balls, a scooter, school supplies and some other odds and ends I had picked up in the week prior. Along with the soccer balls, the scooter definitely caused the most excitement.


Edem had also shared the the children go to a Catholic Church and so I brought rosaries for each of the children. These rosaries were purchased by my sister in honor of my grandmother that passed away two weeks before I left for Africa. The children wanted their pictures taken with their new rosaries...


So what does one experience when going into a home for those affected by HIV/AIDS? Could I tell at a glance which children were HIV positive? Did I see sad faces of those who have lost their parents to AIDS? Not at all, I was greeted by enthusiastic children that were eager to welcome me and to unload their new goods. I was given a grand tour of the home and was able to spend a few hours meeting these beautiful children and learning about the home from a few of the volunteers that were there.

First of all, I want to emphasize that not all of the children are HIV positive and according to the volunteers, the children don't know for sure themselves who is positive. There is such a stigma in Africa for those affected by AIDS that they work to keep it confidential. What I did learn though is that this children's home is fun and often time neighbor children will stop in to play with the kids in the courtyard. It is obvious that they are cautious though as Edem explained later that while I brought a scooter, the kids will not be able to ride it as they wish, they will have to make sure an adult is present when the scooter is out.

Since it was a Saturday, the older children were doing their wash and helping the younger children out.


They spent time playing soccer and riding their new scooter.


This young lady looked at, worked on and admired an old but obviously cheerished bicycle.


One of the children went to town to get his hair cut


And anyone and everyone would pose for a picture when given the opportunity- or take a picture of you as you take a picture of them- or just play with the camera because it is so fun!




I am so glad that I made the trip to Hardthaven. I was impressed by the way the home is run and by the director Edem. He took the time to call me later that evening to share that some of the monetary donation had already been used that day to buy beans to help a family in town. Now when I say beans, I don't mean a can of beans but instead a large bag of beans that runs in the neighborhood of $130. Not only does Hardthaven help those in the home but they also help support some members of the community affected by AIDS. He wanted me to know that the donation was appreciated and was being put to good use immediately and that he already had plans to purchase some things for the house with the rest of the donation.

I also saw first hand on this day how children can live and thrive even though they are HIV positive given medical treatment, proper care and love. What is unfortunate is that so many people in Africa don't get the care they need and so they die. They die, when they could so easily live. Some of the children you see in this post and on the Hardthaven Website and the Hardthaven MySpace Page are the "lucky" ones whose HIV condition is being monitored and cared for. Why should they have to be "lucky"?

It is so frustrating to know that there are so many more people out there that don't get the care they need. Parents shouldn't die of AIDS and leave their children orphans when there are drugs that can make this condition manageable and children shouldn't have to suffer and die because there is no help for them. Africa is not a world away, it is a plane ride away. The children that are orphaned or that have HIV in Africa are not unknown, faceless children. Here they are








These children are God's children too. Now that I have had this experience and have seen first hand how much these children can be helped, I know that I will now support more organizations that provide medicines and care to those that are HIV positive. I would love to see assistance being given to the thousands of other children affected by AIDS that are not at Hardthaven. All of the children I have met in Ghana have such beautiful hearts and souls- they deserve the right to live- doesn't everyone?

As I have spoken to people about my experience at Hardthaven, many people asked if children that are HIV positive can be adopted by families in the United States. The answer is "YES". My adoption agency, Adoption Advocates International, is already helping families adopt children that are HIV positive in Ethiopia. Our agency has an adoption coordinator, Erin Henderson who helps families adopt children that are HIV positive. To pass on some information about HIV that has been shared by a parent of a HIV positive child...

- HIV can NOT be spread through causal/household contact.

HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other causal way.

It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).

- HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives.

- People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do.

If anyone wants more info on transmission, there is great info on the Center for Disease Control website at http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm

I would recommend to any families going to Ghana, that they consider taking the time to visit Hardthaven Children's Home to meet the children and leave a donation. There are many things that the home can use to help care for the children. Again, I want to thank my family and friends for allowing me to make a donation to Hardthaven from all of us.

Jennine

Selina's 2nd Birthday

Selina had a wonderful birthday. We did not know how many people would be able to attend since we planned it on Friday night and called people on Saturday and the party was Sunday! I usually stress myself out a bit going overboard on birthday parties but you really can't do that when you only have one day to plan it and you have to spend most of the day calling people to invite them!! LOL. Here is Selina arriving fashionably late to her own bday as she was finishing up a quick nap before the festivities!




We rented a cabana at the pools at our club house. Considering the late notice, most people were able to make it! It worked out perfectly as at home, the people may have been overwhelming to Selina but at the club in an environment she has gotten more used to, she did not really notice that there were over 40 people there to meet her! She just played and did her thing!




Here she is with her two "cousins" I guess they are second cousins if they are my cousins children? Either way, I call them cousins! It is so fun as she has cousins in Arizona that are 1,2 and 3 years old and so she already has a group of playmates at our family functions! Here she is with two of them...




The only part that I adjusted was the cake. I knew that 40 people looking at her and singing "Happy Birthday" would probably scar her for awhile and so I did not announce we were doing cake and got her in front of it with Kman and Cater, snapped a few pictures and got her started on eating it.



Does it look like she enjoys cake at all?



Here are some of her cake eating family and friends!



And because the adults had to have some fun also- some of the men challenged eachother to see who could make the biggest splash and go the furthest across the pool on the waterslides.



Here is TR on his turn


Even Kman joined in the action...


Chad did have the best form as he seemed to glide over the water... Thankfully the only injury was his bloody elbow which was much better than expected!


Cater decided that she wanted to get some M&M's to share with Selina. I wonder if she has ever had those before? I am thinking not. She did enjoy them though!


Even though I told everyone not to bring a gift- especially with my short notice, Selina was given a lot of fun things including a birthday crown that Cater wanted to test out.



Here she is later at home with a new Dora hooded towel (she received lots of Dora goodies) and her natural hairdo as I took out all of her cornrows and attempted my first style this week!



Thank you to all our friends and family that helped make Selina's first birthday in America a wonderful one!

A Wonderful Week...

Selina is doing so well. It has been a week now that she has been home but to see her, people would guess she has been with us longer. She is such a happy girl and seems so comfortable with all of us. We are so blessed to have her in our family! Here is some info on the questions I have been asked the most over the past week...

The family- Selina took to daddy within the first day. She will easily go to him. Sometimes she prefers me but will go to dad. He is able to bathe her, feed her, change her and lay down with her and she is great with it. It was funny as on the second day Selina was home, all of a sudden TR yelled for me. I thought there was a problem and started racing across the house when TR said, "she kissed me!"

Kman and Cater: Selina loves her brother and sister. Sometimes they want to hug on her and she is not up for it but she will sit with them and watch a movie or watch them play. She loves to roll around on the floor with them and laugh and she loves to squeeze their noses to hear them say "honk"! Kman loves her to pieces and Cater thinks it is a good idea to have a new sister about 90% of the time. It is funny though as sometimes it seems she wants to be mad about losing her status as the youngest child and only girl but it is at that moment that Selina will do something funny or smile at her and you can see Cater melt. Selina really loves her sister and their personalities seem to be a good match for eachother as they are each independent and strong girls (heaven help the parents!! :-))







Going out: We have tried to keep Selina in more and not go out as much but she really seems to love to go places. When she realizes we are leaving, she perks up and holds her hands up for me to carry her. In the car, she looks around with interest and points at things we pass and will even babble happily.

Here she is at Costco (AKA- Sampleland). She sat so nicely in the cart and enjoyed most of the things offered to her. If she doesn't like something, she makes a face and we know we have to get her a napkin or our hand quickly because it is being returned to us!



The doctor: Selina went for her first doctor visit. Every thing looks good so far in that he did not notice anything that caused him concern immediately. Her chest and ears look better thankfully! We took her for blood work and turned in stool samples as she will repeat some of the medical tests done in Africa. It was hard to do the blood draw as she has little veins and they had a tough time getting her blood. Thankfully we got it on the second poke by the fourth person to come into the room to look at her veins! I just pray they got enough as they took as much as they could for her weight but based on the tests the doctor ordered, it will be cutting it close! Please let that blood go far!! She was a trooper and perked right up after it was over but I felt so bad for her!

I know she is behind in speech and so she will be given a comprehensive evaluation in all developmental areas in the next few weeks. My only other concern is her walking and how her feet are positioned when she walks so it will be helpful to have someone take a look at that. I know she will pick speech up quickly as when I met her she had no words and already we have five words consistantly. She also has learned how to produce several sounds with cues so I am so excited to watch her progress! Being a special education trainer and having a degree in speech therapy, I know the importance of early intervention and so we will check and see what she may need and start working on those areas immediately. The therapies and such are done in ways that they are fun for the kids and she seems to be doing so well with people that I don't anticipate it being a problem to get started in the next month or so.

Dad and Selina reading a book as they wait for the doctor to come in...





Swimming- One of the first things we did was to take Selina to the pool (as soon as her ears were okay). I don't think she had ever been in a body of water (even her bath is a sponge bath while she stood) and so I did not know what she would think about the big pools. Well, after about five minutes she was splashing around! Instead of wanting to be held close, she wants to reach out her hands and lay her head back in the water and see what everyone else in the pool is doing! It is so fun to watch her laugh and to be so joyful. I had anticipated starting swim lessons in a few months but I had to call the swim coach and ask her to put Selina on the cancellation list as she is a fish! She is a "no fear" girl in the water and so we need to get her some instruction!



Here she is with her Godmother Mary...




Sleep- she sleeps great. She goes down very easily about 80% of the time. TR or I just lay down with her and she falls asleep usually within a few minutes. If she is a little overtired or didn't want to go to bed, it might take up to 15 minutes or so and will include some crying but nothing big. She is adorable as right before she falls asleep as she settles in, she will snuggle into you and bury her head in your neck. She likes to wake up at about 5:30 am but at least we slept all night!!



Foods- She is eating although not as much as she did in Africa. She is hard to predict as I will have things that I am sure she will like and she won't eat them and then she will eat something I think she will hate. For example, we were out and had just finished getting her blood drawn and I knew she needed to eat as she didn't eat much breakfast and so I take her to PeiWei a yummy place that has rice and chicken- somthing she loved in Ghana. Will she eat it? No. So then at the pool the other day, I order the kids a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and have Selina take a bite to see if she likes it. Not only does she like it, she proceeds to eat all of Cater's bread crust with the pb&j on it! A child who will eat the bread crust? WOW! So now for tonight I have made spaghetti with meat sauce. She has eaten this in Ghana and we had some at the hotel. She seemed to really like it. She just may decide not to eat it though as she loves to stump me!

So that is our first week in a nutshell! Tomorrow is her birthday and so we are just having a very informal get together with a few family and friends at the pool since it seems to be her favorite activity so far. I figure it will not be as overwhelming to meet new people in the pool as you have fun!

We really are so thankful for how wonderful things are going and how well the transition has been so far. The one word I keep using to describe her is "delightful". She is seriously so fun! She has such a good disposition and is such a little ham. She loves to be cute and to make people laugh. She seems to love a new adventure and to see what is next! We are having so much fun with her and watching her experience all of these "firsts"!

Thank you to all our family and friends that have called or sent emails checking in with us and for all those who have kept up with us on the blog and have been praying for us! I know it has meant a world of difference to us!




Jennine

Selina's Arrival...

Selina did so well on the flights home. She did have to sit in my lap for eleven hours as we flew from Accra to New York. She was so good and slept about four hours. She played in the aisle for a bit and we sang little songs. I had to take her to the back of the plane for about one hour at one point as she was tired but not wanting to sleep. She was so good, especially for being two years old! It is hard for me to sit still for that long! She is such the trooper!

She was supposed to sit on my lap from New York as that flight was also full. At one point they announced that anyone with a certain kind of ticket could upgrade to first class for $150. At this point Selina had a lot of energy and I recalled the the seats on the plane are smaller and so I was worried. I went up to see if you can still upgrade if you have an infant in your arms (don't you think the rest of the people in first class would love that?). They told me you can and so I was prepared to do so when they told me they found me another seat and she could have her own! This worked out beautifully as she fell asleep within 10 minutes of getting on the plane and slept the five hours until we touched down! NOTE: maybe it is a good idea to suggest upgrading to first class with your infant! :-)



When we arrived, it was midnight. TR and the kids met us and were so excited to see their new sister! Kman just put his hands over his eyes and was teary eyed. Cater wanted to carry her sister around and give her big hugs! They came home and couldn't go to sleep until about 3am. Selina rolled around the floor with the kids laughing. They all slept on the floor in the family room and had a slumber party.



It was so wonderful to finally have everyone together!