Coming out of the Fog...

I am again sorry it has been so long. It has been kind of a crazy 3 months! I told myself a few weeks ago that I could not post a blog until my thank you notes are done. I had about 40 to write.

Those that know me well, know that I am horrible at written communication or anything that has to be mailed. It is not just thank you notes so that people can say that I am rude and ungrateful, it is ANYTHING that has to do with mail. This includes sending in for rebates (usually don't), Christmas cards (I usually call them new year's cards and send them in January), sending off packages. It is the fault of mine that I am embarrased about the most. It is truely a miracle we have Selina as there was a lot of mailing involved. Let's just say that I often found myself in the position of having to overnight things because I took too long to get it in the snail mail.

So to those receiving a thank you- I am again so sorry that I continue to be a mail failure. This mailing experience was delayed more than usual due to a water spill to 15 completed cards and my accidently throwing away two books of stamps! If anyone has any suggestions on how to be better, let me know. I cannot afford a personal assistant which is what I often fantasize about.

On to the update. In a nutshell, I returned to work, the kids started school and Selina is now in a daycare/"school". We have all transitioned well. It has been particularly hard on me as it is the beginning of the year is the busiest for me as I train new staff and have grant completion reports to do. It was just a time when I wanted to do every thing perfectly for my family and for work but it was hard. Now as I look back at all that we accomplished the last few months, I can't believe it. I also can't remember a lot of it as I was kind of in a fog as I addressed every thing that needed to be done. Thankfully, I am through the worst of it and the kids have really settled in to the new routine and have really bonded with each other. It now seems like Selina has been with us forever instead of three months. She is such a blessing to our family.

I will be adding posts and going into more details in the coming hours/days so please don't give up on us- come back to check in!! I am uploading pictures for future posts as I type!!

Nope, not twins...

My girls- Cater reading a good night story to Selina...

We were at Kman's soccer practice this weekend. Selina and I left to go grab an iced coffee for another mom and me. When we return, a little girl Cater had been playing with follows her up to the van and sees Selina as Cater gets in.

The girl (to Cater looking a little confused): Is that your sister? She has black hair. She does not look like you.

Cater (without missing a beat): That is because we are not twins... She is from another country. It is Africa.

The girl says something as Catey is shutting the door that I don't hear.

Cater (as she opens the van door): Wait! Did you say my sister is a cutie?

The girl: Yes

Cater (with pride): Thank you very much (as she shuts the door again)

Selina's Ghanian "Sisters"...

Selina is so blessed to be living five minutes away from two very special girls. Rita and Racheal were at the adoption center with Selina from the time she arrived in January until she came home in June. Rita and Racheal are eight year old twins and they are beautiful and wonderful girls. They so loved and watched over Selina when she was at the Eban House.

My friend Chalene, who I met about a year ago when a friend introduced us, has gone through this adoption process with me and as it turned out, she brought her girls home about two weeks after I returned with Selina. Chalene and I have been through classes together, have shopped together for our girls, talked hours endlessly about the process- sharing our joys and helping each other through some rough patches and have shared our experiences of bringing home our children and the transitions our families have gone through. We even overlapped in Ghana and were able to hang out there together for a day!

When Chalene got home with her girls, I was dying to get over there to see them all. I was looking so forward to reuniting Selina with two girls that shared her life in Ghana. Imagine from Selina's point of view- living here with so much newness and then being able to see two familiar faces from her past. I know that some may feel that she is so lucky to be here and that her life is so much better now but in reality- she had so many wonderful experiences in Ghana- so many friends, so many songs to sing and so much love from her aunties. She had familiar faces, familiar food and familiar routines. Even I miss some of those experiences and people that brought her such joy!

So when we first went to meet up with the girls, I cried on the way as I was so happy for Selina. She had no idea where we were going or what we were doing. Selina recognized Rita and Racheal right away. When Rita and Racheal saw Selina, they just squeeled in delight and right away, wanted to start taking care of her and making sure whe was happy just like they did at Eban House. It was so sweet but it was also so wonderful to be able to tell the girls that they can just play with her and have fun and when she needs something, I can get it for her because she has a family now.







Over the past two months, we have gotten our families together numerous times. We are all so blessed as the girls will have each other. Selina will have these "sisters" that remember Ghana and can share those memories with her. It is also wonderful as the girls sing their Ghanian songs for Selina which brings an immediate smile and to her face. She starts bobbing her head with them. I can't wait for the day when she can learn the words and can sing with them! It is always fun as each time we get together, we ask the girls to sing for us and they are always so happy to and get really into it!!



Chalene and I really enjoy sharing hair care products and learning how to care for the girls hair and skin together. The day before the twins started school, I went to Chalene's and we did the girls hair in a new style I had just learned. Racheal is still smiling almost four hours into it and I'm not even done yet!!


We are also looking forward to welcoming an eight year old boy to our "family" as Chalene's sister is in the process of adopting a sweet eight year old boy that was also with the girls at Eban House. This boy will have two male cousins his age as well as my Kman to hang out with. He really enjoys playing soccer and any sports and so I have already told Kman all about him and how it would be so great to get together with him and they can teach each other some moves!!

To see all of our children together playing, laughing and enjoying life is such a joy. It is beautiful to see our newest children so happy and loved and it is as equally rewarding to see how much happiness and how enriched our lives are to have them with us...

They get this talent from me...LOL

I was supposed to enter Kman in a local karaokee video contest and missed the deadline by a few minutes because I had so much trouble figuring out the Youtube thing. I told him I would post his video for all our friends and family. He wants it noted that he did not pick his nose at the beginning of the video- he just had an itch!!..

Don't forget to scroll down to the bottom of this page to turn off my blog music...



Then Cater wanted her chance. The kids think this is the funniest ever when they start singing together towards the middle of the song...


I loved to sing growing up- even though I wasn't that great! It is so fun to see your kiddos enjoying the same things you did...

I finally know how to do videos now so it will be fun to do more in the future. I will take video of Selina and post in the next few weeks.

When Life Comes at You Fast...

I am so sorry that I have not posted in a bit... It has been so incredibly busy! You will learn more than you ever wanted to know about how we are doing if you make it to the end of the post- I do have lots of pics at the end so if you don't read, at least scroll down for them!!

Selina continues to get more comfortable and to settle in. She got the chest thing back. It only really went away for about a week and then started up again. The doctor had me try Claritin and nasal sprays for a week or so and she got worse so I took back in. We had a scare that it might be tuberculosis for a few days as we waited for the chest xray and skin test to be read but thankfully that was not it! I would have had to let the 500 or so people that have come across her path know if she did have TB! She ended up with breathing treatments. She did better for a bit but now she is getting all four of her two year molars and so we are congested, drooling and feverish on and off. Poor girl!

OTHER SELINA NEWS: She is in the process of being evaluated through the state for therapy services. At the screening, the gal asked me questions as to whether she could do this or that, most of my answers were "no, no, no, no". After answering "no" for awhile, it got to the point that when we had a "yes", I would laugh and Selina and I would start clapping!! The evaluation was today and it looks like she is behind in all areas. They are turning her file over to the Division of Developmental Disabilities to complete the eval and provide services. She basically functions more like a 16 to 19 month old in most ares. Her relative strength is her self help skills. I had to laugh as I said, "oh you mean like the way she had to crawl around and get her own food at the age of one year?". Yea, I would expect her to be gifted in the area of self help!!

Seriously, Selina has come so far since coming into the adoption center in January. When I told them where she was at then and how her medicals indicated she had all these problems and then shared how far just her speech has come since I met her in May, they were amazed. I believe that Selina will catch up and be fine. She is so smart. I just want her to have help if she qualifies for it which it looks like she will.

I have also selected a day care center/school for Selina for when I go back to work. I considered an in home situation or a school. Since Selina has been in a school setting for about a year now and enjoyed getting to go into the school with the kids at her adoption center, I felt that a school would be better for her. I have checked out several places and Selina and I have selected one. I am really excited about this center as the teachers have to have early childhood degrees or be working on them. Selina's teacher is almost done with hers and has a lot of experience working with children. They do a lot of fun things and are very hands on so she will get nice and dirty. It should be exciting for her. She will go there part time (3 days a week). TR will each have one day alone with Selina in a week. This class is not as busy as the school class she was in at the adoption center and the activities are geared right for her age so I am thinking she will enjoy being back at school- we will see!

OUR HOUSE: Our home has been keeping us really busy the past month. It is only five years old but it is spanking us this summer.

We have been without air conditioning in the majority of the house for about 10 days. We have two units and it is the larger of the two of course. It boils down to that we will need a new air conditioning. It is working now but it is only a matter of time before our unit needs to be replaced. We have the new unit and company selected, we are just trying one more thing before replacing it.

It is just not fun to have to purchase a new air conditioner right when returning from Africa with a new daughter! Air conditionings are not glamourous or fun to choose like a new refrigerator or washer and dryer! I thought that new air conditioners were about $4000 as that is what I remembered from the last time someone I knew bought one but now know that was about ten years ago. Basically it is expensive enough that when we get it, I am going to dress us all up and take our picture with it as our family could have gone on a Disney Cruise for the money for this thing!!

Also the roof leaks when it rains. It did this right before I left for Africa but it wasn't a big leak. Well, it rained hard recently and lets just say that a utility bucket could not hold the water. We had to run and get the big rubbermaid that holds all our sports equiptment to hold the water pouring in from the air conditioning vent in Kman's room! He was asleep with his buddy who was spending the night and the door was closed when it started raining. Thankfully I randomly opened the door to check on them. Water was pouring out of this vent right next to them, it was unbelievable.

TR went outside to look around. Things like this are not his area of expertise so unless there was a gaping hole in the roof with light coming out of it, I did not expect much insight to our problem. At first he thought it wasn't raining hard but when he came back in, he used the term "biblical proportions" to describe the downpour. I think he used "biblical proportions" to make himself feel better about the amount of water entering our home. Did I also mention that there was a big wet spot in the girl's room that did not seem to be related to the leak and so I was afraid I had an expansive soil/slab leak problem also?

So, all the roofing companies we called the next morning were booked for the next week (remember the rain was of biblical proportions) and more rain was in the forecast. Our friend knows a roofer and we called him. He was able to come out the next day. Judging by his simple receipt, I would guess he is a one man show (his buddy came with him though) that is not licensed but he "fixed it" and said that my dry wall will dry and we should be fine. He also said the problem in the girl's room was related to the roof issue. All I can say is that the man was nice, his fix was under $200 and he said all is well now. In the past, this would not have worked for me but due to how busy my life is right now and my larger issues with the air conditioning, I paid him, thanked him and have chosen to believe this kind unlicensed man!!

OTHER FAMILY NEWS: Kman and Cater have both done swim team and karate this summer. Swim team went well for both kids with the exception of Kman having swimmer's ear for one week of it. Kman did well (this is his third summer) and is really improving. He does best at backstroke and now that he goes straight this year instead of crashing repeatedly into the lane lines like in years past, he consistently gets first place in this event. Really, going straight is so key!! He also is diving much better this year. The poor child is cautious like his mom (for whom the idea of going head first into anything is just not good) so this diving thing took a lot of work to get right.

There are six people in a race and Cater who at only five years old, is one of the youngest, is the recipient of many sixth place ribbons. The ribbon for sixth place is pink and really, she is quite excited about her pink ribbons. While Kman returns after a race letting us know the place he got, Cater tells us the color ribbon she received so all is well! Seriously, the kids did so good to get up and start practice at 6:30am. I was really impressed with how hard they worked!

Isn't the swim cap supposed to cover all the hair? I think Cater thinks it is a fashion accessory!



Kman gearing up for the big race!

Karate was also fun for them. Cater has been in it for a year and Kman is doing it this summer with her just for fun. Kman has really enjoyed it and wants to continue but with club soccer and religion class, we are not sure how that will work.

I was trying to decide between three schools for Kman and Cater to attend this year. I can get them into any school in my district so I narrowed it down to three that are between home and my work. I have decided to move them as Cater is entering kindergarten and I want their school to be closer to home than where Kman was last year. Kman is excited to change schools. All three of the schools are really good. Kman really wanted one over the others because he thinks they have a nice soccer goal. So I analyzed it the past few weeks and spoke to a few coworkers and decided on the school without the new soccer goal. I was afraid that Kman would not take it well but then I found out his new school has ordered a soccer goal and it is on it's way. I told him and he was fine with the new school and excited to see the new goal. If nothing else, it will always make a nice story that he picked his school based on a soccer goal!LOL

OTHER ODDS AND ENDS: I other news, our older dog Apollo has been not doing quite as well. We have had him to the vet and he has had bloodwork and is on medicines as when he gets infections and minor things they don't seem to heal as well. He is over 12 years old which is great for a labrador but he has aged a lot the last several months. The blood work looked okay for his age but we have to just watch him more carefully and be prepared that there may be something going on inside our old man that we are not aware of yet. It is sad to see him older as he was born the day we were married and has always been such an important part of the family. He just has this awesome disposition and is such the gentle hearted old man!

Kman went to the dentist and apparantly has an extra permanent tooth up front. I think this is better than missing a permanent tooth but at minimum will have to have two baby teeth and one permanent tooth pulled. He may have to have a surgery to get the permanent tooth out if it does not come down on it's own so we will see as only time will tell what he will need done. He is handling it like a trooper. I explained how he will get a sedative and it will make him kind of happy and not caring much about what is going on around him when he gets the baby teeth pulled next month. He has been very interested in this and we joke about how he will be so agreeable with the medicine. I tell him that he will pretty much allow the dentist to do whatever to him and that it will be a good time for his sister and anyone to ask him for things they want of his.

SUMMER'S END: So now summer is wrapping up and we are preparing to get back to school. Here, the kids go back to school at the beginning of August. I look back to this summer- being gone in Africa for a month, bringing back our wonderful daughter and all the excitement and craziness since and am looking forward to getting settled into our routine for the year!


I hope your summer is treating you well and you now understand why I have been a blogging flake lately!:-) I do plan to keep blogging now that Selina is home and have several different posts in the works.

I leave you with a few random summer shots...

Selina coloring. She is sporting a new do! My first attempt at fancy do. I worked on it a total of about five hours as she took a long bath and while she slept. If only I could awaken with my hair all done for the day!



Cater with her new sis. They are doing so well together. Their new thing is to kiss which is quite funny as Cater is not the kisser but she loves her new sister!


Kman reading to sister. He is so helpful and patient with Selina.


My friends threw me a "Selina Shower" this past weekend. It was so nice to get together and celebrate having Selina home and catching up with each other. Selina came for the first thirty minutes of the shower before being taken away for ice cream with dad, Kman and Cater. It worked out beautifully as she would have been overwhelmed to have stayed a long time!


Selina watching Kman play indoor soccer


Mom and Selina at the swim banquet


Our beautiful children- We are so blessed!




Jennine

My head and heart are back in Ghana...

Eban House Children's Home in Ghana

I am sorry that I have not posted in awhile. I actually have a few posts that I am working on but have waited to see what I could share about a horrible crime that occured at Eban House, Selina's adoption center before writing this...

The Eban House, where Selina has spent six months of her life, the home that took her in, taught her to walk and loved her has suffered this week.

On Sunday night, four armed men forced their way into the home to rob it. At the time, the children were asleep along with three of the aunties. The men came upon the babies room, (the room where Selina slept while there) and confronted the auntie that was with the babies. In the end, this auntie was violated repeatedly before they left.

The men ended up stealing some computers, money and some other things but most of all, they took the feeling of safety that the over 30 children who were sleeping there that night were finally enjoying after difficult pasts. Most of the children slept through it with the exception of four girls who are about eight years old. These girls witnessed what no child should have to see. These girls did not scream and wake up the rest of the home though, instead they prayed. They prayed for the auntie and they prayed for the animals that were in the home. They asked God to forgive these men.

I can't even type this without crying as I know all the people involved and my heart is broken for this quiet and kind auntie that cared for Selina and for four beautiful girls- friends who spend their days excited to learn in school, doing each others hair and playing games in the yard.

It appears that the girls may have identified the men as people who came to perform some work on the home recently. I have heard that the police have been very responsive and have wanted to help our adoption agency find a qualified guard that will now watch the home in the evenings.

Understandably, the home is in a state of shock and they are working their way through this. I am especially upset for the auntie. She is married with two young children. According to culture, it is expected that her husband will leave her. This brave woman protected the children and stayed quiet so that they would not wake up and now has probably lost her life as she knew it.

I know that the story of what happened at Selina's adoption center in Ghana has been posted on a few of the adoption groups that I am on and that other adoptive parents have heard about it whether it be parents adopting from Ethiopia or those considering adopting from Ghana. For this reason, I want to take a few minutes to share a few thoughts about this...

I know if this had happened before I went to Ghana, it would be something that would make me very nervous and concerned and I would question how safe I would be in Ghana alone. As you all know, I just returned from a four week stay in Ghana. Two of those weeks, I was with my good friend, Molly and the other two, I was alone. I will admit that I am a scardy cat. This trip to Africa was only my second trip in which I have been on my own. Prior to going to Ghana, I spend two days alone in Seattle, the home of Starbucks. I went from living a sheltered life, to Africa to bring Selina home.

After spending that month in Ghana, I can say, without a doubt that I did feel safe in Ghana. I actually felt safer at times in Ghana because of the the kindness of strangers and the sheer volume of people everywhere. In light of what happened at Eban House, I would still feel safe to return to Ghana. I want all of the families that are in the process of adopting from Ghana and for those that are considering to know this. There are over one million orphans in Ghana that need a home and I would be so sad if this incident caused a family to think negatively of Ghana. I would be happy to discuss this further with any family that has questions or concerns.

This horrible crime is not the norm in Ghana. Ghana is home to some of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met. I did not see violence in Ghana. Even when we were in traffic jam nightmares that would cause multiple incidents of road rage in America, the Ghanians are unbelievably calm and courteous. For people that have so little and that work so hard in a place where there is not a justice system as developed as ours, I would have expected more crime. This was not the case. What I found were people that praised God for what they had and that have the values and integrity to not want to steal or cheat to get more. I am not going to tell you there is no crime but I do believe that a crime of the magnitude of what was experienced at Eban House is very, very rare.

It would make me very sad for this crime to be what those in the adoption community think of when they hear Ghana. This is not Ghana. I know, I was there. What is representative of Ghana is the way that the auntie put the needs of the children and the possessions of the Eban House ahead of herself. It is the way that four eight year olds at undoubtably one of the scariest moments in their life, turned to God and asked for forgiveness for the criminals in front of them. It is the way that the police and community is helping out those at Eban House. My great uncle lived and worshipped with the people of Ghana for over 53 years and chose to die and rest among them because he loved them and Ghana so much. Now that I have been there, I am not at all surprised and I understand why.

I know that the women at Eban House will get through this and will love and help the children there. They are in pain now but these are people that believe in God with every thing that they are and they will survive this. Please keep those at Eban House in your prayers so that they may be healed of their physical and emotional wounds especially the auntie and girls. Please also pray that the men who committed this horrible crime will be caught so they will not be able to commit another crime and the staff and children will feel safer. This home was Selina's home and it has been difficult for me to focus on other things when my heart is back in Ghana with these kids and aunties that I came to know and love. I keep checking for updates.

To keep up with this, more information is on the Anita's blog (the AAI Ghana Adoption Coordinator)who will leave for Ghana in a few days. She has posted updates and also has information on how to donate to the auntie that is facing an uncertain future or to donate to the home to help replace missing items.


Thank you,
Jennine

Happy July 4th!!

We hope that everyone had a wonderful July 4th... We had a busy and exciting day helping Selina to celebrate her first fourth of July in America!

Our neighborhood has a little parade every year. This year we decided to watch it and cheer on our friends that went by. The kids enjoyed it as those in the parade throw candy out to the bystanders. Needless to say, we ended up with a nice bag of candy that the kids have enjoyed.





Selina just loves to go in the pool so after that we went to Grandma and Grandpa's for lunch and a swim.
Dad and his girls...


Tossing Cater...


Tossing Kman...


Grandma and Selina...


For Selina's first Independence Day in America, we thought that nothing would be more fitting than enjoying a baseball game and some fireworks. We went with some good friends...

The Johnson's


and the Fredette- Romans...


We were in the upper deck and had a great view of the game and then later of the fireworks...



Each of them have a son about Kman's age so the boys enjoy getting together and being so cool...


The dads looking even cooler?!!


Mom, Cater and Selina...


Selina was so good at the game. I joked that she was the best behaved out of all the family! She loves to be in her carrier and will just sit there and play and talk so we did that for part of the game.



I did not know if she would be afraid of the fireworks- especially since we were watching them from up high. She watched them for about two minutes and then fell right to sleep! It was after 10pm so the time wasn't surprising but it was kind of loud gun like noises to try to sleep through!!



Cater was actually the one that started crying for a moment until she sat on dad's lap. She is such the daddy's girl...






I think this pic of Kman on the way home summed up the way we were all feeling after a long yet exciting day!



Welcome to America our little girl and we hope you all had a fabulous fourth!!!


Jennine