I600 Update...

Still no approval on the I600. For those not familiar with the process- this is the investigation that the US does to allow us to bring Selina into the country and for her to be a citizen because she is now our daughter. The US Embassy here in Ghana is currently reviewing the paperwork I submitted fifteen days ago and we are waiting for their decision.

I went to visit Selina this morning and we hung out for a bit before she fell asleep.

They took her hair out so it was fun to see it all combed out... and here is that lovely hair! Thankfully I took the hairclass



They do her hair while she sleeps as she does not sit really well for them to do it while she is awake yet so when she came out for her nap, here is what they had done...


I don't think I will be doing this style myself- a little too wild and difficult for me! I told them I will be starting with simple puffs and working my way to cornrows!!

She woke up about noon and at that time, the Embassy called and wanted her to go there to the medical area. While I don't understand much about why, it sounded like they wanted to see her to clarify something in her medical records? It seems they were most interested in her legs possibly? Remember she could not walk when she came into the home and her records state that but now she can so maybe there is just some confusion. Anyway they fed her quickly, dressed her up and took her away.

I don't really understand this process and what the staff here are telling me well enough to have stuff make sense. If I try to ask too many questions, I feel as if I am bothering them and it seems to confuse me more anyway. I asked if I could go along with her and was told that I needed to stay behind.

For some reason, they just keep wanting more information. I am hoping that this will be it and they can make their decision but each day they want something else. I am trying to very patient and such but it is hard in a situation where you can't do anything but sit and wait. I thought I was going to be at least calling and checking on how the processing is going but it is not necessary as they call us daily this week wanting more documentation. It is good they the Embassy is working on it though and that our agency acts quickly when they get a request for something else.

The problem is that while there is a list of things that are wanted for the I600 investigation, sometimes, they just decide that they want additional paperwork. There doesn't seem to be too much rhyme or reason to their requests so our agency just gets them what they need immediately and then wait to see what they may need next.

Hopefully this will lead to good news and we are getting closer to being approved!

I will be headed back to the home soon as Selina should be returning shortly. I will update later when I come in for the evening...




Jennine

Father Beem

He was called Father Beem here. I had heard that before but I heard the word "Beem" about thirty times today so from here on out,he is Father or Father Beem...

Edward showed up at 6am for us to start our journey to McCarthy Hill to see his residence. From there we would go to the gravesite and then we would have lunch. Edward thought we might be late as we were meeting Brother James at 8am but we ended up being on time AND we arrived without major incident!

McCarthy Hill is a bunch of homes on a hill that overlook the neighboring cities. The view is beautiful, really beautiful. This is the view from outside of Father's room.


Brother James was so wonderful. He greeted me as if we were friends already. He is a lot like Father you can just tell they must have been great friends. We hit it off instantly. You can easily see how James and Father have some of the same mannerisms. At times it felt as though Father were there- saying, "fine, fine" and laughing with a roar.

I got to see the room where Father last lived. It was a simple room with a bed, bookshelf and closet. What was lovely was the location. From his room, you could see the cross that rose above the building and right outside his room was a beautiful view.



There is a grotto down below out in the yard and he would go there everyday to pray. I was told that Father walked twice a day to keep in shape and from the looks of their interpretation of it, it looked as if he kind of marched in this way I can so easily picture him doing! He would walk to the grotto and around the grounds.



In the Grotto was an area to pray to Our Lady of Fatima. I thought it was beautiful.


McCarthy Hill is not only for retired priests but also for seminary students so there are young boys as well as the retired priests there. In fact a young man is now in Father's room and he was very kind and seemed happy to be in the room of someone that was so important. They say mass daily there at McCarthy Hill and I was shown the exact seat that Father always sat in. In the picture it is the furthest seat on the right in the second row. I took this picture from just behind his seat so you can see his view from where he was at.



I also met Doris who took care of Father the three years prior to his death. She was very kind and we spoke about her last memories of him. He returned from the states on the 15th of September (in 2006) and I found it interesting that immediately he gave Doris a crucifix and asked her to start praying for him. He said that his father died at 87 and he was 83 now and so he never knows when his time was up. He always joked with her so she did not know how seriously to take him but started praying extra for him anyway. Doris would massage him and Father requested that she sing while she did this so he could relax more. She has a lovely voice and did so happily.

Her last memory of Father was when he left town four days later. Our papers said he was going to the Coast but she said he was going to Tema which is in the Accra area and is the home of his last parrish, Our Lady of Mercy. He has some friends that he visits there and they always made him Fufu which is a favorite meal here in Ghana. Doris asked if he wanted her to drive him and he said "no" that he would be fine. Either that day or the next she got the call that he had died at the hospital.

Next we headed to Adoagyiri-Nsawam. It was about an hour and fifteen minutes away. That trip was more eventful as the five of us crowded into Edward's old car. We went on a bad road to avoid traffic and the car stopped and we had to get out three times. Thankfully Edward just needed to wiggle a few wires and I think that Brother James said a prayer and we were on our way each time.

The Society of the Divine Word Center and St Joseph's Church. This is a wonderful large piece of land that includes a residence, a few schools including one for children and adults needing artificial limbs, a church and the cemetary where Father is laid to rest. Brother James indicated that Father really did a lot here and loved it here. It was easy to see why as it was so peaceful here. He was here from 1953- 1958 and then again from 1963- 1973.

Brother Paul was here with Father and is now in charge of several things here including caring for the cemetary. He also is the Chaplain at the local medium security prison which he seems perfect for. Brother Paul is also good with cars and so he did something to fix Edwards. I am thinking he used glue or duct tape but was afraid to ask!! Brother Paul has this awesome personality and fondly remembers Father playing cards there until midnight on many occasions. Brother Paul is really as cool as he looks!



The cemetary where Father is buried is simple, beautiful and peaceful. It really is nice. They give Father a lot of credit for helping to develop the land here to build the schools and cemetary and so he really is laid to rest at a place that he helped to construct. I can't think of anything more fitting. His plot is in a great location as if you look one way, you see the tower of the church he preached at and if you look the other way, there is a big crucifix. He will be getting his proper headstone marking shortly. The process here is about two years once someone is burried to get the grave constructed properly as they let the ground settle and do all these things. Brother Paul is in charge of it and explained the process and it is obvious he takes it very seriously.



Before we left, I wanted a moment alone at the graveside but Brother James did not understand what I was asking for and so he thought I wanted a picture of me and him touching the headstone. So here is that picture. Then I tried once again to ask for a moment alone and so a big group prayer was done by Brother Paul. This is only after they tried to have me say my prayer outloud. I had to laugh (internally) but I did get a moment alone with Father on the way out!



We took a tour of the grounds and saw the elementary and senior school. What I was not prepared for was the school and facility for those who are in need of artificial limbs. It was awesome! There are over 200 children and adults, mostly children that come there to get artificial limbs and therapy to help them. Most stay an average of three months but can stay longer if need be. They help accident victims and those that have suffered a loss or deformation prior to or during birth. They have three big areas to house those that are there including a nice area for mothers with their babies. I can't tell you how beautiful it was to see so many people walking around with artificial limbs, knowing that they are going to be okay. In Ghana, life is often more difficult for those with disabilities such as the ones these people have as there is no insurance and so people cannot afford to get help. It is done here for free. They even have a workshop and the limbs and shoes are made here.
Here is the computer classroom with some of the children...



and one of the men in the workroom...


The director of this special school and facility is from Holland and knows Father well. I missed his name but will get it. The men joked that they are cousins as Father is also of Dutch origin. He used to play cards with Father and he is the brillant man behind all of the work that is done to help those needing limbs. I did not get if he is the doctor but he was helping with therapy, and knows how to help diagnose and create the limbs. I immediately made a nice donation to this place as I knew instantly that is what my family would have liked. I took some pictures of the men in the workshop working on the shoes and limbs. This was just amazing.

We ended the tour with a nice lunch. They served plain rice and plain chicken and so I thanked God, Grandma and Father for that immediately as I don't think I could have handled anything with a sauce and would have felt terrible to try to avoid eating. We then left but not before I got a picture of Brother James, the Director, Brother Paul and Doris.



Today was a day that I will never forget as long as I live. I am so fortunate to have been able to see the places and meet the people I met today. I really enjoyed talking to Brother James as I felt that he really knew Father well. I told him about the adoption and showed him pictures of Selina. To see how truely happy and supportive he was of the adoption made me teary eyed. He said that Selina is a good child, he can tell by looking at her. He believes she is here for a reason. I never got to ask Father what he thought about us adopting and so when I asked Brother James what he thought Father would have said. Brother James said that Father would have said that all children need to know they matter and the opportunity to be educated and to learn and that Father would have been happy. To have heard these words just meant the world to me as it was finally the blessing from someone that I know would know what was in Father's heart and from someone that loves Ghana as much as Father did!

So thank you God for such a Beautiful Day! And now I am happy to know that Father is resting in peace...

Thank you and update...

First of all, I want to thank those who have left a comment here or an email letting me know you are keeping up with me and praying for us. It means so much to me as I have been here so long that sometimes I do feel a world away.

My paperwork is coming along. Percy has had to take the original of one of the documents I gave them for the I600 because they wanted to see the original. When he got back from doing that, they wanted him to produce another document. He is taking them that document tomorrow. So the good news is that they are obviously looking at my paperwork right now. Hopefully they will not ask for anything else when they get what they are asking for now!

They told me ten working days when I gave them the papers and Wednesday is ten days so the fact that it is being reviewed is good!

Selina and I had an okay day. She clung to me and cried a lot when others would come over or I would put her down. I will see how she is tomorrow. She could have been extra tired or just a little overwhelmed or maybe because she is a toddler and sometimes they just cry!! The good news is that she was crying for me to help her instead of crying for me to go away so it is good that she sees me as someone who can comfort her. It is giving me good practice at seeing what I can do to calm her down. It will come in handy on the plane if I can have a few ideas!! The other passengers will appreciate it!! :-)

Jennine

The People...

Ah, people, in Accra there are tons of them. If I read correctly, about 2 million. Ghana is the size of Oregon and Accra is the capital. There are just a lot of people here. Before I came, I did not know what to picture. I did not picture the volume of people. They are everywhere.

When I leave the Eban House and walk to the main road to catch a cab. I am walking the distance of about five homes. I have never walked this stretch without seeing at least 20 people about. People are not in their homes, they seem to all be outside of them selling something, washing something or socializing.

As I look out the window of my guesthouse, I have never looked out once without seeing someone walking down the street. Doesn't matter if it is the middle of the night or raining. People are always in motion here. There does not seem to be a quiet time.

As I heard before I came, the people here are so friendly. Take Augustine, my taxi driver. I called him today to go to the supermarket. He came and picked me up at the Eban House and was so happy to drive me. I asked him what I need to pay him and he said, "you pay me whatever you want". Actually this was a brillant move on Augustine's part as I had no idea what a fair amount was for our drive so I am sure I overpaid him again especially judging by his reaction! I offered to buy him a pastry at the supermarket as in my travel guide, it says they are well known for their pastries at the Koala Supermarket. Augustine looked at me like I was crazy when I offered him the pastry and said no thank you. I again gave him a few cedis to get a drink while he waited for me as I can't ask someone to wait for me and then not give them money to get a drink. This is Africa after all and it is hot!

Another taxi driver was so kind, he must have driven Molly and I before and we had him stop at this little supermarket on the way home as when I got in the car, he immediately said, "where is your friend" he followed it up by saying, "would you like to stop to get some water again this evening?".

Another man ran up to me when I was hailing a cab. He works at the car wash right next to our guesthouse. He introduced himself and wanted me to have a nice taxi. I had to laugh as he shooed about four taxis off before deciding one was good for me. I kept trying to tell him that I am only going up the street and I did not care what taxi I took but he wouldn't hear of it.

One day when Molly was here, we walked to the little chop shop for a coke while the kids were napping. These two men invited us to join them and proceeded to tell us their life stories and ask us about ourselves. One man was from Ghana but lives in Finland and was back visiting. He has a wife and four kids there. I wasn't sure if I believed him until he started producing documents to support his story. We got a kick out of him as he is a "chef" at the airport and was so excited to show us his food handlers card! He really wanted to take us to the beach the following day but he was supposed to leave as was Molly so he was bummed about that. He tried to invite us to dinner. We thanked them but said that would not work out for us. He then said what has given me a chuckle since then, "I have a car but I never drive it because I drink all the time. I do have a younger brother though".

In Ghana, the younger brothers drive their older brothers around. It would be seen as disrespectful if an older brother was driving in the presence of his younger brother so I guess it worked out for this man that this was the custom in Ghana. We enjoyed chatting with these interesting yet friendly guys for the duration of our colas before heading back to the Eban House!

There is something so cozy about having so many people about. What amazes me is that most of them are selling something. As you go down many streets, there are people along the sides in little stands selling something. On the busier streets- especially when there is traffic, people are in the roads passing by your car selling something. I could get some of the following items from the backseat of my car: soccer balls, fish, hankerchiefs, soap, videos, electric outlet adaptors and even the Suzanne Summers tummy trimmer. I don't know how so many people can be selling things and making enough money to live. From what I hear though, they don't usually sell very much- just barely enough to get by if that. That makes me sad as it is like a lottery- who will be lucky enough to make the sale of the item you need. Which person going by will catch you at the exact moment that you need that water or tummy trimmer?

Anyway, this is just another example to illustrate how many people are about. I couldn't believe it until I saw it. To me, it is a miracle that these people are so kind and curteous to each other. In a place where so many people are trying to survive and there are not a lot of police with a consistant policing program like those we have in the states, I have seen little arguing. People just coexist and for the most part, treat each other with respect. Considering the huge amounts of traffic and how frustrating it can be to be in it, it really says a lot for the people here and how peaceful they really are.

I could go on with experience after experience of people being kind and offering to help me out or welcome me to Ghana. The people are just so friendly and even though I am alone, I am comforted by the sheer volumes of people that I am always surrounded by here and the number of people that are just so friendly.

Jennine

A message for Kman and Cater

Email from Kman today...
Hello Mom,
we miss you alot so us part of the family here is trying not to be worried but we all are crying for a few minutes but we know that when you come home you'll have Selina. We all hope your having a great time and we just can't wait for you to come home but I just have one question, is Selina wild
Love,
us P.S. Your always in our hearts

Kman,

Thank you for the wonderful email buddy. I miss you so much too and sometimes I cry too. It is okay. We will all be together soon!

Let me tell you about our day because it was fun!

I went to the Eban House at 8:30 this morning to meet the kids for church. We all walk together to the church which is really close by It takes as long as it takes you and Cater to walk to the park by our house.

The kids all go into their own little church. It is kind of hot because there is no air conditioning but the kids don't care. The kids here in Africa love to sing their praises for God and their prayers outloud and so the kids are praying and singing with all their heart. I stayed with the kids for a few minutes but then Auntie Comfort wanted me to go with her to the adult church. Your sister fell asleep on my shoulder and so I carried her into the adult church. Here is a pictue of the children's church...



In the adult service, there are tamburines in the front of the room and people can go get one. Church was about two hours long. For the first forty minutes people sang with all their heart but they did not all sing the same song. Some were singing the same song while others were talking out loud. There were about three microphones and it was "open mike" if you wanted one, you could get it. You could talk or sing into it, whatever you wanted. So it was very loud talking and singing different things. People were walking around and dancing some together and sometimes one would do a dance move and the ladies by her would like it so they would all do the same thing. After the singing and dancing the preacher started preaching. He did this in one language while a woman stood behind him and said the same thing in a different language. Neither of these languages were English and so Auntie Comfort told me what they were saying for the entire mass in English. During all of this craziness, Selina slept! This allowed me to stay seated in my chair although I did what I like to call "chair dancing"!

After church we went back and the kids ate. After that, they were supposed to take a nap but Selina had just had a two hour nap! They gave all the kids a piece of orange. Look at your sister. Do you think she likes oranges? I decided that since was not scared when I carried her to church, we should try going to the local chop shop and I would get a drink for the two of us. I told the aunties that we were going to do this and then Selina and I left.



Look at Selina on my lap!



I was a little nervous, Kman as I did not know what your sister would do once we got out the door and she realized that she was alone with your very white mother who is now reddish tan. I thought maybe she would scream really loud! But you know what she did- she looked at the door as we closed it behind us and said "bye, bye!" to her friends at the Eban House!

So then we started walking to the chop shop which is right next to the church. A chop shop is a little stand where you can buy food. Like a very small Rio Ricos- the outdoor place that mommy gets tacos and cheesecrisps from sometimes. We got there and had a slight problem, it was closed!

So them mommy and Selina started walking towards the main road to see if we can see another place to get a drink. The whole time, Selina was kind of quiet. At the road, a nice lady told us there was a place just across the street so we started walking. It turned out her idea was not going to work either and so mommy figured the best thing to do was to get in a taxi cab. A taxi passes you at least every 15 seconds in Ghana and so we easily got a taxi with a nice driver named Augustine.

Mommy told him to take us to the nearest place where we could get a juice and coke and sit at a table. I did not know how Selina would act with me now that I got in a car alone with her. She was very quiet for the first minute but then Augustine turned on the radio. The song "Rinestone Cowboy" was playing and she started bobbing her head to the music and playing with the seat in front of her. It looked like she might enjoy our little adventure! Yea!

Augustine kept driving and we were going farther than mommy planned so I asked him if he had a good idea of where he was going and if he would share that idea with me. He decided to take us to a little place by the ocean. When we entered the parking lot mommy was a little concerned as all she say was a sign that said "The MOJO Night Club". Mommy thought that maybe Augustine got confused and thought mommy needed a margarita or something but she saw that ther was a little outdoor restaurant right behind the nightclub. You could see the ocean from there. It was really lovely.

Mommy thought it would be smart to keep Augustine around since he knew where to return us to so mommy asked him how much he wanted her to pay him if he waited 20 minutes and took us back to where we came from. He said "10 cedis" which is $10 in America too. Mommy thought it was too much money but she did not want to worry about it so she said okay. Then mommy gave him two dollars to get a drink for himself while he waited for us. This made him pretty happy.

Mommy carried Selina to the restaurant and she hung on to mom really tight. She must have been a little scared. We sat down and I got her a pineapple juice with a straw to drink from. There was one problem though- she doesn't know how to drink with a straw! She stared chewing on it! Isn't that silly?





So mommy got her a cup. She really loved the juice. Look at her drinking it...



Selina started feeling more brave and was looking around and pointing at things. She loves to point to things and have you tell her what they are. I think she will do that a lot when she comes home.

When we left, mommy wanted to see if Selina felt brave enough to walk on her own. She did! She held on to mom tightly but she walked. She has a hard time walking on steps as I don't think she has ever had to walk on steps before so we will have to help her with steps until she gets better with them!



Mommy and Selina walked to the car and met Augustine the nice taxi driver. Mommy told him that he just drove Selina on her first trip with her new mom. He said "God Bless You" because he is happy that Selina will have a good home with us. Mommy told him that Selina is kind of shy. So what does she do? She walks towards him and he puts down his hands and she lets him pick her up!! That really made mom look like a liar!

So anyway, Augustine was very nice to us and played nice music for Selina to dance to in the car. He told mom that he will drive her anywhere she wants to go and that I should get his phone number so I can call him. Mommy told him that she knows she paid him too much to take her to the restaurant so if he drives again, she is not going to pay him American prices!! He laughed and said "Okay".

So Kman, to answer your question about is Selina wild... I know we thought she might be wild because she had fun hair and made funny faces. I don't think she will be as wild as your sister Cater. Cater is the wildest girl in the family. I think Selina will be funny. She loves to make funny faces and to make people laugh. She will run and fall down on purpose and start laughing so hard. She also will open her eyes wide and shake her head really fast and start laughing. I think you will think she is funny and watch her to see what she is going to do next.. that is what mommy does! What do you think of this face?



When we got back from our drink, I got to teach the kids how to jumprope by running into the rope while it is turning. They really liked that. I also taught them another dance, the macarena. They had a good time doing it. The kids here really love to dance!

I am so glad you sent me this nice email today to tell me you missed me. That made me feel so special. I hope you have a good time this week when you and Cater start swim team. That should be fun. Hopefully mommy will get some good news this week on the paper we are waiting for and I can come home to see you in the next two weeks!

Ghana is playing a soccer game here tonight that is very important. People all get together and watch the game. They crowd around the televisions and you can see them all sitting outside as you drive down the road so you know immediately that an important soccer game is on! Right now Ghana is winning! I tell people that you are a soccer player and that you play goalie a lot. They think that is cool!

I love you and Cater so much!!

Love,
Mom

PS- I have a riddle for you Kman... If a chicken eats a fish and then you eat the chicken, are you eating chicken and fish or just chicken?
Mommy is asking because on her walk she saw some chickens and guess what they were eating? Fish heads!! Yep, fish heads. So mommy was wondering if she ate that chicken is she eating fish too? Mommy doesn't like fish, only chicken and so this is an important question. Let me know what you think....thanks.

A pretty quiet day...

Not much to report today. I went to the Eban House around 10 am and stayed there until about 5pm. When I arrived, Selina was sleeping and slept until about noon and so I took the opportunity to take a lot of pictures of the other kids. I took them outside in small groups and we had a great time just taking some pictures!

Selina woke up and so I fed her lunch. She was wearing a white dress and so I asked the aunties if I could just take the dress off while she ate and save them the trouble of changing her afterwards! Then with her dress off, she discovered that the liked the feeling of putting the water in her mouth and letting it drip down her chest and stomach. I couldn't blame her, it is Africa and it is hot. I am sure it felt good. I thought it was a rather brillant idea although we don't want it to become a habit so I had to discourage her from being innovative.

Most of the other kids napped right after lunch and so I had a few hours with just Selina and a few other kiddos. I went in the classroom and grabbed a few books. We were looking at the books together and then she would get down and go grab something else and then come back again with the book and want me to read it to her. When I say read it to her, I mean that loosely. She has not had the reading experience yet of having books read to her and discussing what is on each page and pointing at things like we tend to do with our kids in the states and so she does not have the stamina for an entire book although I can really think she will enjoy having books read to her as she did better than I expected and kept coming back for more.



We also rolled a ball around to eachother for awhile. It was fun. She really enjoyed rolling the ball back and forth. We sat a few feet away from eachother and I spread my legs out. It was cute as once I did this, she also did the same so our feet were touching. She would giggle as she rolled the ball.



I stayed until she got really tired. I was holding her but she couldn't fall asleep and so I had the aunties put her down for a nap. I would ask to do it myself but there is a guest in the room she sleeps in that I do not want to disturb. I know the aunties can put her down much quicker and with less disruption than I would doing it for the first time! I will be going over there in the morning to go to church with them so I decided to call it a night and come back and get a few things done. I also was anxious to see if Molly made it home which she did after a delay that caused her to have to be put up in a hotel for a night in New York!

I am scheduling some of the things I still want to do while I am here. I called Brother James who was with my great uncle Father Fran. He was so excited to hear from me and so we set it up that I will go to McCarthy Hill on Tuesday. Edward will drive me and we will go to see the last house he lived in, visit the cemetary where he is layed to rest and will have lunch together. I can't wait to hear all Brother James has to say about Father and his time here in Ghana. I can tell that he will be wonderful to talk to!

I am also planning my trip to the orphanage for children affected by HIV. I am thinking that I will go next Saturday. I still have to finalize that but that is what I am hoping for.

I also want to figure out my plan for helping at the Kasoa Orphanage. I will start working on that Monday. A food donation was made by Chalene about 10 days ago so we agreed that I would wait a little longer before I go so I can bring a little bit of food along with the other items I am planning on.

I am hoping that through my conversation with Brother James, that I will be able to identify others that need help and so I have saved some monies for that purpose.

I am feeling much more content today. The bonding with Selina is going much better than I expected. I prepared for the worst (against the advice of all my neighbors who recently read "The Secret" for their bookclub book) and so I am quite pleased with where we are at. The one on one time is really valuable and so I enjoyed our time together today as the kids napped.

I think this has to be hard on Selina though as we are at a point where I interact with her differently than the aunties. I think I probably allow her to get a way with things they would not because I am trying to bond with her and at the same time I don't allow her to do other things that they let her do.

One big example of that is the first bonding experience we had was when we were sitting at a table and looking at a book. She started dropping the book. Me wanting to show her that I am here for her and will help her, kept picking up the book. I would say "uh,oh" when she dropped it and it got to a point when we were laughing about it. It was actually the first thing we laughed together about! In my toddler adoption book, it mentioned this stage and how it is important for Selina to know I am here for her. So in honor of this stage, I picked the book up about 40 times! So now she enjoys dropping things looking at me and saying "uh,oh". Or anytime anyone in the house drops something, she says "uh,oh". This also was one of her first consistant words besides "more". So anyway she is still dropping things although I am now working my way out of this purposely dropping things for me to fetch! I am working on showing her how to set something down "gently" or if she drops it, I encourage her to go and get it. This little dropping things will go away but I am sure it is not as fun for the aunties to suddenly have Selina dropping or even sometimes throwing things around!

This has to be hard for a child that is not yet two to understand. When in doubt, I refer to the aunties at this point because I leave every night and she is in their house with them and without me at times. I know that every parent goes through this when adopting children but if you are adopting a child that is seven or eight, they will more easily understand that things are different with different people than Selina can. I am starting to really look forward to being at the point where I can take her to be with me. It will be easier to be with her alone and to be able to be consistant and have me being the one caring for her 100% of the time. Don't get me wrong, it will also be tiring and a little difficult while we are here in Ghana. I am just feeling more prepared for it. I have been through several crying tantrums with her and am feeling more comfortable in dealing with them- this was something I was nervous about before coming here. They are really not that bad for a two year old! I do know it will be different when she is with me though and I still have some questions about her schedule and such that I need to be asking!

The difficult part...

So I got to see Selina today and just left there at about 6:30 tonight. It was really hard to leave this evening. Selina was just kind of crying more the last two nights as many kids do before going to bed.

I want to stay later to help put her to bed but I have all these things I have to figure out in order to do so. I am here alone now so how late do I leave out the door by myself to walk to catch a cab to go back to my hotel? What is the latest I feel safe to do this on my own? I can only get dinner at Rye Manor until 7pm so if I stay I miss dinner. I only eat twice a day so I am hungry by 7pm. I don't want to go eat dinner before that as then I miss Selina eating and her bath and I help or do what whenever I can.

So here is my daughter who is does not fully understand she is my daughter and is struggling between wanting to be with me and wanting me to leave her alone and I make the decision to leave. I know she will be fine and will go to bed like she has done so every night since arriving at Eban House in January but she is my daughter. To just walk away hurts so much and doesn't feel right.

I know I will be taking her home soon and all that stuff I can tell myself but to have a daughter that is two and to leave her to go to bed without you is just getting harder now that she is beginning to trust me and love me more.

This is just hard sometimes and this was one of those nights....